I’ve always had a deep desire to partner with the Spirit in the work of transformation through the means of discipleship. Numerous times throughout my life, I have found myself sitting with people, acting as a companion to help them find the clarity and direction they are seeking—whether that be in their suffering or in decisions that need to be made. Over time, I decided to grow in understanding how God’s Word applies to the complexities of life and learn skills to offer faithful counsel according to his Word.

As I sit with people, I have learned that life is much more fragile, much more challenging, and much more complex than we often acknowledge. Gandalf the Grey once said, ”When I come across something that is alive and is capable of bearing beauty, then I want to nurture that, and that is my call…If anything survives that can flower and bear fruit in the days after, then my work will not have been in vain.”

Journeying with others as they make their way closer to the heart of Christ and witnessing the transformation that occurs in them is one of the most fulfilling parts of counseling. Like Gandalf, I am a steward. Stewarding souls toward beauty and glorying the Lord draws me closer to the Lord as I see him so intimately at work. I have the opportunity to see the Holy Spirit moving, helping, and encouraging saints and sinners along the way. I consider it a deep privilege to hold space for others as they journey through life. I desire to be a safe place, to be an environment of rest, peace, and healing. My approach is not rushed or corrective, but I seek to walk alongside saints, sinners, and sufferers as they courageously seek hope and healing. Not only is it a privilege but a joy to steward souls.

I have found that creating my own Rule of Life has been one of the most helpful tools to aid in my return to rhythms and disciplines that help me to care for my whole self. My daily rhythms consist of Scripture reading, prayer, and praying the Daily Examen. I meet with a Spiritual Director and a counselor regularly and find great value in being involved in community. I value time “off-grid,” and try to schedule regular personal retreats for myself toward that end. I believe time spent tucked away in a place that is far from the busyness of life is valuable and holds a lot of mystery and opportunity to commune with the Lord uninterrupted. I move my body regularly and enjoy pilates. My goal this year is to take up running.

I particularly enjoy working in the area of Domestic Abuse, entitlement, and oppression. It is a privilege to walk with women who are enmeshed in these kinds of relationships and help them to see their circumstances in light of Scripture. I enjoy helping women to become empowered in setting their own boundaries as they navigate their relationships. I also consider it a privilege to walk with husbands to help them identify the areas in their lives that are riddled with entitlement and a skewed view of life. It is one of my greatest joys to see a marriage restored to the Lord as couples work together toward healing and godly unity.

Another area that I find great joy in is helping others engage their stories. In storywork, I help saints name and identify the parts of their stories that have caused them to believe lies and distortions, where they’ve experienced trauma, disorientation, and brokenness. Together, we bear witness to the pain they have experienced and lament the wounds that have been done to them or that they’ve done themselves. We work to dismantle destructive patterns and behaviors that were learned in an effort to protect. We also seek to re-story, identifying how this fits in God’s greater story and how he is at work healing and redeeming what has been broken. Essentially, when Shalom has been shattered, we seek to discover how God is renewing and restoring.

As someone who has experienced spiritual abuse and trauma, it is my honor to walk with those who find themselves in places where they are seeking to identify and/or recover from it. When leaders of the Church have forsaken the call to care and tend to those placed in their care, it is extremely disorienting, often leaving people who’ve endured these experiences feeling like the Church is not a safe place. Such abuse has a profound impact on the soul and recovery is a slow and patient process. I believe that God is restoring the true Church and that—in time—healing can be found there. I desire to hold people’s hands, helping them to heal and find restoration as they seek to eventually return to the Church.

Authors whose writing has influenced me greatly are Augustine, Herman Bavinck, Henri Nouwen, Curt Thompson, Jim Wilder, Aundi Kolber, Diane Langberg, Brad Hambrick. Poets I enjoy reading are Denise Levertov, Mary Oliver, Malcolm Guite, George Herbert, Scott Cairns, Christian Wiman, and Micheal O’Siadhail. Musicians I am quite fond of are Jon and Valerie Guerra, The Brilliance, Young Oceans, John Mark Pantana, Taylor Leonhardt and Jonathan Ogden. Artists whose work I delight in are Rothko, Rembrandt, Makoto Fujimura, Sylwia Perczak (and an ever-growing list).

My favorite book on thought life is A Still and Quiet Mind by Esther Smith.

My favorite resource on healing from pain inflicted by the Church is The Lord is My Courage by K.J. Ramsey.

I try to cling to Jesus every hour, seeking to abide and keep him in my focus constantly. I believe the Holy Scriptures to be the way I hear his voice and I seek to immerse myself in them daily. Daily prayer, examination, and Scripture reading are a way of life for me, and so I try to carry them into every aspect of my life; every relationship, every place, every prayer. I pray the Daily Office and journal often. I am currently working through the Ignatian Exercises, which have proved to be both deeply challenging and beneficial. For me, looking at Jesus helps me to remember my belovedness. Faith and spirituality are the way of life, and can’t be separated from it.

I’m creative and enjoy art (making it and looking at it), poetry (reading it and writing it), and music (listening only, ha!). I am a lover of good food and enjoy spending time at the art museum. I enjoy watching movies and shows that reflect a human element to them, where a character has been formed by their past and environments and is working toward something redemptive.

As I said above, I’ve experienced the disorientation that comes with spiritual abuse, having had to leave a family of God that I thought I’d spend the rest of my life with. This taught me a lot about the nature of people, pastors, and the Church. Through it, the Lord strengthened my dependence and hope in the Risen Christ. This experience has taught me to have more humility, more patience, and more kindness for those suffering. It has also taught me to stand firm in the convictions the Lord has given, but to learn how to do that in gentleness. Recovering from this trauma has been a long journey, but I experience healing every day.

Well, I am human, so sometimes I struggle to “handle it.” When I begin to sense stress rising as a result of challenges, I attempt to slow down. When stressed, I want to react. This, however, has not served me well. Slowing down, acknowledging the place I am in, and then seeking to discern what the Lord is inviting me to do are practices that I seek to utilize daily. As I do, this strengthens my ability to do so. Seeking wise counsel if necessary and processing with a trusted friend always helps. I often invite my counselees to practice the same things: 

What is your body experiencing (doing)?

What are you feeling (emotionally)?

What are you thinking that is leading you to feel that?

Now how is the Lord inviting you to respond?