“As I've had the privilege of sitting with women whose husbands are in the lead pastor role, I've found that creating a safe and judgment-free environment is often a blessing they didn't know they needed. Heart + Haven was birthed out of countless hours of counseling women who desire to follow the Lord faithfully serving the Church while doing so in a complex role that very often comes with imposed expectations (self or other) and necessary discretion, as well as the daily work of serving their husband and family. Finding ways to process these difficulties through story groups (supportive communities) offers relief and a sense of being seen, known, and heard. Participants will find that this weekly haven is a place where they can work through their own stories with others who understand the challenges and complexities of the calling the Lord has given them.”
Christie LacyCounselor
We were not created to heal in isolation; God designed us for community. Our true home is found in Him, and He makes His dwelling in us. As we open our hearts to others, we experience healing. Through the practice of storywork, as we name and process our wounds together, we begin to see God’s greater narrative unfolding in our lives. When others bear witness to our stories of both suffering and celebration, we come to realize that God sees us, hears us, and knows us deeply.
By engaging our stories through the lens of grace and redemption, storywork becomes a transformative journey of spiritual healing. It renews our strength and draws us into deeper connection with God and with those around us.
The act of being seen and known by others mirrors the reality of being fully known by God (1 Corinthians 13:12). The gospel offers the assurance that we are never invisible to God, even when we feel unseen by others. Story groups help participants experience this truth in a communal setting, giving them a tangible sense of God’s love and presence through the support of others. In environments where vulnerability can feel risky, being in a group that sees and values you for who you truly are allows for deeper authenticity, combating the isolation that sometimes comes with the role of a pastor’s wife. Lead pastors’ wives often face unrealistic expectations—being a constant source of strength, wisdom, and support to both their spouse and congregation. Story groups provide an intimate setting where you can move toward dropping these expectations (even self-imposed!) and be authentically yourself. In this space, you are invited to express your struggles and joys without fear of judgment, which fosters deep connection and healing.
Healing Through Storywork
Engaging the Past for Emotional Freedom
Just as Christ redeems our stories through His resurrection, engaging in storywork opens the door to healing by uncovering how God has been present in every moment of your life, even during past and present wounds. This hope reminds us that redemption is not only possible but promised through Christ’s transformative work. Lead pastors’ wives often carry significant burdens—from their roles in ministry and personal lives—that may remain unaddressed. This process can clarify your personal history, helping you understand the shaping influences of trauma, joy, and pain. Exploring one’s narrative brings healing by helping participants reframe their story within the broader context of God’s redemptive work.
Reducing Isolation
Finding Connection and Support Among Peers
Genuine connection with others who “get it” breaks through the walls of loneliness and isolation that often come with being in ministry. Lead pastors’ wives often carry the burden of perfectionism, feeling as though they must embody an ideal image for their congregation or community. Story groups provide a place where the pressure to perform or project an image is lifted. By sharing openly and vulnerably, they can release the weight of isolation and perfectionism that often accompanies their position. The gospel calls believers into grace and freedom, not perfectionism (Galatians 5:1). In a story group, pastors’ wives can encounter the redemptive grace of Jesus, who invites them to rest in His love and find acceptance not based on performance but on their identity as daughters of God. The story group becomes a microcosm of this grace-filled community.